Avoiding Anxious Meltdowns
An overly anxious child creates anxious parents! Parents ‘walk on egg shells’ as they try to ‘get on with the day’ while avoiding an emotional melt down. Meltdowns drain parent’s energy as they try to meet their child’s emotional needs.
Negative feelings (like sadness, fear and anger) are normal and good. Feelings are red flags to show us that something is happening that needs an intervention. An over use of fear can create significant challenges for both parents and the child. Parents need to take action!
Anxious Clingy Child: Causes
Anxiety and clinginess are usually caused by a fear of loosing connection to the most important person in a child’s life – you (Mum & / or Dad).
Telling our children to ‘toughen up’ simply undermines the influence we have in our child’s life. Playing hard-ball results in children numbing and tuning us out. When these feelings get numbed we loose influence in our child’s life and other (much worse) behavioural problems occur later. Sadly, we seldom realise that these later problems in their teenage years are due to our response at an earlier time.
Solution: work harder on relationship than behaviour
It’s absolutely vital that we work harder on our relationship with our child (helping them feel loved, secure and close), than we do on their behaviour. When we fix the core roots of anxious, clingy feelings – the need for more closeness – then the behaviour almost always fixes itself.
A child can’t behave right until they feel right.
So the solution to anxiety in children is to work on the emotional connection between parent and child. This intervention will help parents identify the root cause of their child’s anxiety. It provides key principles and examples of what parents can do to calm anxious hearts.
This 5 page intervention discusses attachment based insights into anxious clingy children and summarizes the key theory behind it’s cause. It then offers a detailed plan for parents and teachers to help comfort and resolve the issues.
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